On the Loose

I turn 30 years old in less than 3 hours. I feel pretty good about it. Aging sucks for sure, but I am grateful for what I've experienced thus far, what I've survived, what I've learned and grown from, and what's still ahead. There are things I wish were more... developed/advanced in my life, but I'm doing okay. I'm also formulating my next big plans and getting ready to manifest some more awesome life shit.

Last year I worked at a Girl Scouts summer camp in Putnam County, New York (just past Westchester) as the Business Manager. Although my job was mostly administrative, it turned out to be one of the most beautiful, memorable experiences of my life. It was inspiring and wholly empowering even though I occupied that space as a 29 year old staff person rather than a child camper. It taught me so much, and healed and sustained me in ways that totally surprised me. It came at the exact perfect time in my life, where all these different factors had to line up exactly the way they did (for months, actually) in order for me to be there. Camp begins just a few weeks from now, and I'm already feeling pangs of sadness knowing I won't be there this year. Sure, I'll visit for a day or a weekend, but that's definitely not that same as being immersed in that world for the majority of the summer.

This camp was extra special because Ketch (my wonderful partner) went there as a kid - a gawky socially-awkward not-very-popular kid - and said it was the first time in his life that he had friends and felt so appreciated and empowered. Camp is such an encouraging, nourishing haven for kids that don't quite fit into the mainstream. It's this truly magical space where sillyness and play and overall weirdness are valued. It is essentially a microcosm for what childhood should be. It's a super-condensed soul-searing experience where the whole purpose is to embrace freedom, break past insecurity and doubt, value friendship, learn social accountability, honor nature, build community, and exhibit a strong girlhood that exists in so few places these days. It is not a perfect space, as nowhere really is. Not everything turns out so ideally. However, what I saw throughout my summer at camp is one of the few things I've seen that gives me real hope for the future.

Though my partner being a trans fella, he is a lifetime Girl Scout. All the women from Girl Scout council, including the CEO, were overjoyed and even giddy when I told them about how he went to camp as a kid, completed his Gold Award, and is so proud of his history as a Girl Scout while also being open about his identity as a gender-nonconforming FTM person. It was awesome and made me feel so proud - proud of my partner, proud of being part of an org that's as progressive as Girl Scouts, and proud that I got to be a queer voice in that space.

At camp I saw little girls get dirty, lose so many inhibitions, and push the boundaries of what they thought was the only way things could be. One of my favorite stories is from the last day of a 2 week-session, when I saw a little girl in the dining hall playing with other kids from her unit. One by one their parents came and scooped them up, despite all the tears and desperate hugs, and whisked them away to their normal worlds of too much technology and soul-crushing authority. This little girl was definitely under 10 years old and I don't remember interacting with her at all during her time at camp. However, she had green flowers and vines drawn in marker all over her arms and green scribbles in her completely-hairless armpits. This kid had had her friend draw "tattoos" and armpit hair on her, and they were giggling and loudly admiring their handiwork. I couldn't believe it, and as my heart swelled I turned on my heel and high-tailed it out of there before any angry parents could blame me for their kid's social transgressions. I still have a nugget of hope in my heart that that kid will one day be a tattooed feminist, raging against the still-fucking-here patriarchy with a youthful vigor I no longer possess.



Closing Campfires were always the most emotional, magical, deeply moving parts of the summer. As each 1 or 2 week session ended and the kids had to say "see you next summer," these campfires were reflective, solemn, and always ended in tears. It was a time for the kids, counselors, and adults to acknowledge and honor the uniqueness of the experience and how lucky we all are to have been a part of it. The songs sung at campfire are old, long, somber, and incredibly beautiful. Some are well-known general campfire songs, some have passed down through the decades of Girl Scout tradition. All the voices blending together, some tiny and squeaky, faltering, or off-key, was unforgettable. I often close my eyes and try my hardest to remember, to hear the ringing of every sad sweet song's final notes as the sun set over the lake. It was truly something rare and special to behold: the sunset's blazing pinks and purples, the all-encompassing glow of the camp fire, the shimmering reflections and delicate ripples of the water, and everyone huddled together as the night chill set in.

My favorite camp song is "On the Loose," and here's a video of campers from 2008 singing it. It encapsulates the feeling of freedom and ignites my deeply embedded belief in anarchism. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbEwC00hNyI

Chorus:
On the loose to climb a mountain, On the loose where I am free,
On the loose to live my life the way I think my life should be.
For I only have a moment, and a whole world yet to see.
I'll be looking for tomorrow on the loose.

Have you ever seen the sunrise turn the sky completely red?
Have you slept beneath the moon and stars, a pine bough for your bed?
Have you sat and talked with friends, though a word was never said?
Then you're just like me and you've been on the loose.
- Chorus

There's a trail that I'll be hiking just to see where it might go,
Many places yet to visit, many people yet to know.
But in following my dreams, I will live and I will grow,
In a world that's waiting out there on the loose.
- Chorus

So in search of love and laughter, I am traveling across this land.
Never sure of where I'm going, for I haven't any plans.
Anytime when you are ready, come and join me take my ha
nd. And together we'll share life out on the loose.
- Chorus

As I sit and watch the sunset and the daylight slowly fades,
I am thinking of tomorrow, and the friendships I have made.
I will treasure them for always, and I hope that you will too.
And forever we'll share life out on the loose.
- Chorus

Sweltering Sunday Dinner

So it's not quite summer yet, and a sweltering heat wave has already hit the East Coast. It's been like a bajillion degrees all week, but after a seemingly endless winter I'm actually pretty stoked to be a melty mess.

After a lovely/sweaty Sunday walking around different parks, having brunch with friends, and window-shopping, Ketch and I decided to make Kale Chips and Cauliflower "Couscous" for dinner.

I just fell in love with kale chips and am now a bit addicted. I thought they were one of those things that were hyped for no reason, the new foodie fad. As it turns out, they are scrumptious delightful little puffs of green salty goodness. They disintegrate in your mouth and make the most satisfying ::::crunch:::: sound!

Kale Chips
- 1 bunch Kale (organic if possible)
- 1-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
- Sea Salt to taste
- Paprika to taste
- Nutritional Yeast to taste

Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Wash kale thoroughly, and pull leaves off the main thick stem. Cut leaves into yummy bite sized shapes and toss into a big mixing bowl. Drizzle the olive oil and rub into the leaves with your hands. (A massaged kale is tasty kale.) Sprinkle on the salt and the spices you want to flavor it with. We recommend paprika and nutritional yeast, but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of tasty options. Lay the leaves out on a baking tray and sprinkle with more yummyness. Bake for 20-25 minutes, flipping the leaves once. Once nice and crisp, pop em out of the oven and enjoy!

Last summer I made up this Cauliflower "couscous" as a veggie-based gluten-free alternative to regular couscous. It's easy, incredibly delicious, and can be used as a base for so many different flavor combos.

Cauliflower Coucous
- 1 head cauliflower (organic if possible)
- 1 tablespoon yellow curry (or tumeric if you don't like the curry flavor)
- 1/3 cup raisins (organic if possible)
- 1/3 cup slivered almonds
- 1/4 cup Fresh chopped parsley
- 3 cloves chopped garlic
- 1/3 cup chopped onion
- 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

Chop the cauliflower into chunks, and toss into the Food Processor. Pulse until chopped into tiny couscous-shaped bits. Sautee garlic and olive oil until garlic is translucent. Add in the cauliflower couscous and satuee while adding curry, raisins, almond, parsley and chopped onion. I like adding the chopped onion later because it stays a bit crunchy.

Sautee the mix for about 10 minutes on medium heat. There's no need to over-cook this medley of deliciousness. You just want the flavors to mix and develop, while everything else still remains fresh and crunchy (or squishy, in the raisin's case).

Serve with a sprig of fresh parsley! I've also had other variations made with coconut milk, lemon-grass, and thai-inspired flavors. Yummmmmmmm!!

Love affair with New York

We are finally having a torrid love affair with New York.  The cold is (mostly) gone and we are finding ourselves with days off work.  Spring is quickly turning to Summer and there are birthday celebrations abound!

Central Park was teeming with people over Memorial Day weekend, but in most parts it was still breathable and walkable. Everything was bright green and clear blue, with dots and speckles of every color.  It felt as if I had  walked into that ultra famous George Seurat painting I had just seen at the Met the day before. It's so peaceful and healing to plop down in the grass, have a snack, and take it all in.

I kept thinking how special and strange it is to have such a vast green space, even if it is man made, in a now-priceless area of an unstoppable city.  I wondered if the park would always remain unassailed or if future generations would have to fight for its honor.

 

 

We later walked down the Highline, which honestly felt like being in an outdoor subway car compared to the expansiveness of Central Park.  The Highline is pretty synonymous to the boardwalk along the Jersey Shore - great for people watching and enjoying a snack with a gorgeous unique view.  But it's also almost always jam-packed and not somewhere you go to breathe, slowly soak in the sunshine, or feel anonymous.

Tucked away on the edge of the west village is a sweet small little park.  It's a bit noisy from the traffic racing along the west side highway, but the view makes up for it.  It feels like a delightful secret, with a selection of classic NY characters, including an old man with a parrot in a cat carrier that he opened up so the bird could sit in his lap.  A muscley gay couple was canoodling in the lawn, and a tattooed unabashedly-in-love duo with sugary sweet vintage bikes parked nearby made the whole thing even more like a graphic novel come alive.

We watched the sunset over the river, toes in the chemically treated grass, and I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. 

Vegan on the Go! Salem and Beverly, MA

As it turns out, Massachusetts has organic veg-friendly cafes pretty much everywhere. Also, they are actually not expensive, especially if you are used to NYC prices.

This is our second time visiting Salem, and once again we enjoyed walking all around, checking out the shops and historical sites, etc. The hokey magic shops are silly, and the Halloween-witch imagery is pretty insensitive considering the people hanged here in 1692 were not actually witches. But still, there are beautiful old buildings everywhere, a pretty little waterfront, and overall it's very peaceful and quiet.

We wanted to check out a Nick Cave exhibit at the Peabody Essex Museum, but sadly it was closed. Luckily, we found an awesome organic cafe called Life Alive, a local MA-based chain.

Definitely hippie-tastic, with "inspirational" quotes and sayings all over the place in dreadful Papyrus font. I'm not sure why almost all "healthy" type eateries feel compelled to use this font, but I really wish some talented designer would help 'em out. Regardless, their hearts are in the right place and their food was super tasty.

Life Alive has smoothies, wraps, yummy food bowls, etc etc. I had a giant bowl filled with the most delicious mix of chopped red beets, kale, sprouted legumes, broccoli, brown rice, and house made goddess dressing. Ketch had a wrap with steamed tofu, carrots, corn, and other nice veggies. He gobbled it right up. Our smoothies were also off the hook and served in mason jars (of course). In the condiments section, there was a bottle of Bragg's and a shaker of nutritional yeast. I hope this chain comes to NYC ASAP because it was seriously soooo brutally delicious and crazy filling. Yummmm!!!!

Shit's deep.

So freakin' good.

Ketch is such a babe.

Papyrus WHY?!

A sweet sunny day in Salem.

Yesterday on our way from Gloucester to Boston, we ate at Organic Garden, an all veg cafe in Beverly, Mass. They also had a vast array of wraps, salads, bowls, pizzas, and other snackies. It's all mostly gluten free, raw, vegan, and of course the menu featured hippie musings in Papyrus font. The Thai bowl was pretty tasty flavor-wise, with cashews, brown rice, and all kinds of chopped organic veggies, sprouts, scallions, etc. However, the bowl was SATURATED with soy sauce and it was kind of a soupy mess. I ate the less saucy part and saved the rest for later.

The baked goods case was the real highlight of Organic Garden. They had loads of homemade raw organic vegan chocolates, coconut-based treats, and all of sorts of sweet indulgences made of good ingredients. I got a cashew cup (like a reese's but with raw cashew butter), almond cup, and hazelnut bark. All of them were chocolatey and mouth melt-y. Dreamboat city!!

Vegan on the Go! Gloucester, MA

I've been in a bit of a funk lately, feeling defeated and grumpy and not very inspired to write. And of course, after a few days of not writing, the guilt of not writing started piling up. I was avoiding it like it was an obligation, rather than appreciating it as a creative and fun project.

I came out of my crabbiness with the support of my amazing partner and my own resolve to shift my negative perceptions to positive or at least neutral. Too often, I forget that I can actively make a choice on how I want to let things affect me. So here I am, trying to jump back into this project and not let all the insecurities take over.
- - -
Ketch and I are on a desperately-needed mini vacation, in part to kick off my 30th Birthday celebrations.

We just spent the past two nights at Inn Magnolia, a sweet Victorian B&B in Cape Ann, Mass., just a twenty minute drive from Salem. We stayed here after we got married, in Octobert 2011, and just loved it. It's quiet, chill, beautiful, and immediately inspires us to dream up schemes of one day owning our vegan B&B....

Gloucester is a charming town, where things look old and beautiful and clean, but still very real. It's no Disney-ified tourist trap. The people are friendly, there is creativity everywhere, and the sea is all around you.

Our favorite restaurant in Gloucester is Alchemy, located just off the cute olden-timey main drag. Despite being in a small town, Alchemy would be right at home with New York's finest casual high quality restaurants. They have an insane selection of rare, artisanal liquors and will make you a delicious cocktail if you just tell them flavors you usually enjoy. They made me some super yummy dream drink with a juniper-y gin, champagne, and I think bitters but seriously I don't even know. I just know it was light pink, bubbly, and very enjoyable to consume.

The menu is fairly vegan friendly, with a red quinoa timbale in coconut pistachio sauce as the only vegan entree. The small plates, salads, and appetizers all have vegan or vegan friendly options marked.

Over the two nights in a row that we ate there, we had such intensely yummy food. The highlights include: roasted radishes with fresh chives, roasted Brussels sprouts in a maple orange glaze, watermelon red cress salad, spinach sweet potato salad with pepitas, fried potatoes with truffle oil, the above-mentioned timbale, and coconut panko breaded tofu in a creamy coconut curry sauce.

When we were here in 2011, we also came back two nights in a row because everything was so scrumptious. During that trip, the compressed watermelon, yellow roasted beets, and watercress salad was my jam and I've been pining for it ever since. The watermelon redcress number was lovely, but no substitute for my first love.

Seriously, I wish this place was near us in the city. Also, being located NOT in manhattan the prices were reasonable considering the quality of the meal. The staff were super friendly and we even ended up sharing pet photos and email addresses with one of our servers.

We are definitely going to make these trips up to Gloucester/Salem something we do regularly... We've found do much peace, romance, magic, and healing here. And if we are to continue living in Manhattan without going totally bonkers, we'll need adventures like this at least somewhat regularly.

Watermelon Red Cress Salad, with Toasted Almond Slivers. HEeeEEeeEey!

Vegan Timbale!!

What's up, maple-citrus brussel sprouts? You are no doubt tasty, but next time you could do with less syrup. You were kind of like a sweet brussel sprout soup after a while...

Coconut curry tofu, you were a dream come true.

Yea, so we're wearing coordinating nautical-themed outfits. Gay!

Fondue for Two! Fondue for Two!

Last week I got my phone nabbed while browsing around the Nordstrom Rack in Union Square. One minute it was in my jacket pocket, the next minute it was gone. Another woman's phone disappeared minutes from mine. Everyone was helpful, but despite our best efforts it was clear our phones were just not coming back. Managing not to shed a single tear, I went directly to the Verizon store, moping and sighing dramatically on the train the entire way there.

The Verizon store broke me. They manage to incite my anti-capitalist rage like no other. The same exact services that were offered a year or two ago (unlimited data and upgrades) are now more expensive and blatantly without any clear reason. Verizon and these other massive companies can be awful with no accountability and no commitment to customer service because at the end of the day they know consumers will pay out their asses for the services regardless.

After hemorrhaging way too much money I got myself a new phone, a new phone that I know was made by workers suffering atrocious conditions across the world. I was overwhelmed by the frustration and ridiculousness of the whole thing and feeling chock full of guilt for my privilege to have this phone and get a new one within an hour of my previous one being stolen.

On the defeated walk home with Ketch, he decided to cheer me up by taking me to Vnote for a delicious dinner! We shared the new Fried "Calamari" Mushrooms as a starter, which was a little squishy but mostly breaded tastiness with a super yummy and flavorful dipping sauce. A definite must for mushroom lovers, but definitely should be avoided by people with texture issues.



Then we shared the best salad ever of my life no joke. Or maybe this is just my new favorite salad but whatever it is it's freakin' awesome. Red and golden sweet tender beets, thin delicate slices of fresh red onion, long green wax beans, and feta-like tofu crumbles all mixed in.  It was so fresh and absolutely the most mouth pleasing combination of flavors. We gobbled that baby up. Dessert being a daily (multiple times) necessity for me, we decided to try the fondue (for two).

Vegan fondue is not a common occurrence so this was definitely an extra special treat. It was actually a serving for at least four people, with heaping piles of chopped up pineapple, cantaloupe, 2 pretzel rods, chunks of fresh chocolate chip cookie, banana slices, and strawberry slices. In the middle was a pot of warm, gooey, pudding-like chocolate with a little tealight candle underneath to keep it warm.

I'm pretty sure by the time we were done, we had chocolate smeared all around our mouths and the ends of my long long hair were definitely sticky with melted chocolate. The tiny forks needed to dip and munch the fondue treats were probably one of my favorite parts of the whole experience.  I asked Ketch if he thought it was a bad idea to take them, but being an adult who loves this local business and nursing the fresh wounds of theft, I ultimately decided against it.

At $14 the Fondue is not cheap, but it's seriously a magical dream come true. It's worth a treat-splurge or split four ways with other chocolate-loving friends. And does soothe a scorched-feeling heart.

OOoooooOOOOooOOooOOOOoo fondue, you look GOOD.